Close Menu
    HAJJ
    Support Us
    Advice

    Suffering The Loss of A Parent

    Michelle NasrBy 6 Mins Read
    Suffering the Loss of a Parent

    Summary

    This article discusses the emotional challenges of losing a parent, including sadness, loneliness, envy, anger, and wishful thinking, while encouraging patience, acceptance of Allah’s decree, remembrance of blessings, prayer, and steadfast faith.

    DO YOU MISS your parent? I imagine you do. It could be as simple as a smile, a hug or the special way they did something that made you feel so special. Losing a parent is really hard, no matter what age you are. But as an adult, it can be easier to cope with because adults often have extended family to provide some extra support such as a wife, husband, kids, friends, etc. However, when you are younger, that is not always the case and you can feel really alone.

    Sadness

    You will be sad for a long time. Little things will spark strong feelings of grief at the most unexpected times; sometimes it may sneak up and even surprise you. It is good to let out your emotions, and talk about your grief with someone who understands. However, if you feel like there is no one who truly understands how you are feeling, write it down, make a documentary…. do something to give yourself a positive outlet. The fact is, those strong emotions —even if you think you can push them away— will return. Another thing, never think that venting your feelings means that you will be done with it once and for all; those feelings will always be there, but later on in life, not as strong and more controllable.

    Loneliness

    Many kids experience a true feeling of loneliness: first when they lose their parent, then having to deal with growing up without a Mom or Dad. Moms and Dads provide a special kind of love and caring that nothing else can compete with; this will be something you will always long for. But that does not mean that those feelings are done and over with. Although you have suffered a loss, you still have those precious memories of that love to thrive on and carry you into adulthood.

    Wishful Thinking

    Often we wish we could just turn back time and put everything back just the way it once was. Unfortunately, this will never happen. We need to accept that this is the Qadar (fate) of our parent and also accept our own fate. ‘What ifs’ and ‘Whys’ are not a part of our Din; everything happens for a reason and everything in our lives was “written down” before we were even born. “The pen has been lifted and the ink has dried.”

    Envy

    You may be envious of other kids and their day-to-day relationship with their parents; you may hate to hear about it; you may even avoid certain events because of it. There is nothing that can hit your heart harder than social functions –seeing other kids interacting with their parents and leaving you feeling alone and awkward. But do not become jealous of what others have; rather, be thankful for the experience you have had. The love that your parent gave you was a gift and a blessing from your Creator, something that not everyone was given. Some kids get thrown in dumpsters—but you were held, kissed and loved. Be sad for children who never had a loving parent and will never, ever, have affectionate memories about their childhood.

    Anger

    Do not be angry with Allah, or question Him. Allah knows what is best for us, even though many times we will not see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has assured us that His promise is real and that it is there waiting for us. But we have to make the right choices in this life and keep our Iman (faith) strong. We have to have patience and struggle forward— even in the saddest, most difficult times.

    How to Handle It

    I will be honest with you; there is no easy way to handle the loss of a parent. But, there are things you can do to help ease some of the pain.
    • You can ask Allah to help you and guide you through this time in your life.
    • You can spend extra time in salah and reading Qur’an…it really does help.
    • You will always have an ache in your heart for your loss, but do not let it cloud your view of sunnier days that await you.
    • Live up to the expectations of your parent by becoming a conscientious and considerate Muslim in this world.
    • Above all, make a lot of duʿâ’—for them and for yourself.
    • Make duʿâ’ that one day you will see them again in a place where pain and sorrow will be replaced with eternal happiness and lighthearted joy forever—make duʿâ’ for that every day, five times a day.
    And, with all of my heart, I make duʿâ’ that your duʿâ’ will be answered.

    Frequently Asked Question

    Answering the most relevant questions to help you better understand the article.

    Young people may feel especially alone because they often lack the extended support systems that many adults have.
    Grief may last a long time, and small things can unexpectedly trigger strong feelings of sadness and loss.
    It recommends talking to someone who understands or using a positive outlet such as writing or creating something meaningful.
    The article states that such feelings remain, but over time they become less intense and more manageable.
    They miss the unique love and care provided by a mother or father and must grow up without that presence.
    The article advises accepting Allah’s decree, recognizing that everything happens for a reason and was written before birth.
    It encourages gratitude for the love received from one’s parent rather than jealousy of others who still have their parents.
    The article says not to be angry with or question Allah, but to trust His wisdom and remain patient through hardship.
    Asking Allah for help, spending extra time in salah, and reading the Qur’an are recommended.
    It encourages making abundant duʿā’ for the parent and asking Allah to reunite families in eternal happiness.

    Related Posts

    107 Comments

    41. Kashif Nazeer on

      From Roland Barthes’ Mourning Diary, a journal he kept after his mother’s death… “But it comes over me when our love for each other is torn apart once again.” November 5th, 1978

      Reply
    Leave A Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Menu
    Copyright © 2026 Al Jumuah Magazine