Khawla Bint Tha’labah (RA) —The Woman Heard by Allahﷻ

For centuries, women have often been subjected to discriminatory practices. During the age of ignorance (Jahiliyyah), women were mistreated, disvalued, and disrespected to the extent that the birth of a female child was taken as a disgrace to the family, and the only solution to safeguard against this deceptive disgrace was to bury the child alive. Allahﷻ says in the noble Qur’an,

“And when the girl-child buried alive shall be asked: for what offence was she killed?” (Qur’an, 81:8–9)

  Not only was the female child oppressed, but widows were often abandoned and neglected by their communities. While female children were buried alive, the widows would be left unburied to endure societal cruelty, left to suffer without support. However, when the hopes began to be shattered and women, choked up with grief, cried for peace, Allahﷻ sent a saviour, Prophet Muhammadﷺ, to restore serenity. Prophet Muhammadﷺ brought constructive traits such as justice, kindness, trustworthiness, righteousness, equity, and equality, hence re-establishing peace for the entire humanity, and women were no exception. Heﷺ elevated the status of women, revealing their inherent worth in the sight of Allahﷻ, as epitomised by the response to Khawla bint Tha’labah’s (RA) plea in Surah Al-Mujadila (Qur’an, 58). Khawla Bint Tha’labah (RA) was a female companion of Prophet Muhammadﷺ who belonged to the Khazraj tribe. She was married to Aws bin Samit al-Ansari (RA), who was an old, ill-tempered man. One day, when Samit (RA) returned home, Khawla (RA) raised an issue, upon which Samit (RA) lost his temper and, in a state of anger, pronounced zihar on Khawla (Ibn Kathir). During the days of ignorance (Jahiliyyah), zihar was interpreted as, “You are to me as my mother,” which meant the wife would be abandoned and would no longer enjoy marital life with her husband. In those times, there was scope among the Arabs to reunite with wives after pronouncing divorce, but there was no possibility of reconciling with one’s wife after zihar. However, after pronouncing zihar, Samit (RA) went out and spent some time with his companions. (Quran.com) [https://quran.com/en/al-mujadila] was a female companion of Prophet Muhammadﷺ who belonged to the Khazraj tribe. She was married to Aws bin Samit al-Ansari (RA), who was an old, ill-tempered man. One day, when Samit (RA) returned home, Khawla (RA) raised an issue, upon which Samit (RA) lost his temper and, in a state of anger, pronounced zihar on Khawla (Ibn Kathir). During the days of ignorance (Jahiliyyah), zihar was interpreted as, “You are to me as my mother,” which meant the wife would be abandoned and would no longer enjoy marital life with her husband. In those times, there was scope among the Arabs to reunite with wives after pronouncing divorce, but there was no possibility of reconciling with one’s wife after zihar. However, after pronouncing zihar, Samit (RA) went out and spent some time with his companions. (Quran.com) [https://quran.com/en/al-mujadila] After a while, Samit (RA) re-entered his house and approached Khawla (RA) to fulfil his marital desire. However, Khawla (RA) disregarded his desire and proclaimed, “No, by the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Khuwaylah! You will not have your way with me after you said what you said until Allah and His Messenger issue judgement about our case.” Nevertheless, Samit (RA) wanted to fulfil his desire regardless of Khawla’s (RA) choice, to which Khawla (RA) pushed him behind and went to her neighbour, from whom she borrowed an outer garment to visit Prophet Muhammadﷺ. Khawla (RA) narrated the entire matter to Prophet Muhammadﷺ and pleaded that if her husband abandoned her, it would ruin her life, family, and children. [https://quran.com/en/58:2/tafsirs/en-tafisr-ibn-kathir] In response to Khawla’s (RA) plead, Allahﷻ revealed the ayat,

“Allah has certainly heard the words of her who disputes with you concerning her husband, directing her complaint to Allah. Allah hears the conversation of you both. Allah is indeed All Hearing, All Seeing.” (Qur’an, 58:1)

Thereafter, Allahﷻ revealed the seriousness of zihar, its dislike, and the means to free oneself from it. Allahﷻ says:

“Those among you who pronounce ẓihār to their wives, they are certainly not their mothers. Their mothers are only those who gave birth to them. They are truly uttering an ill word and a lie. Allah is indeed Most Pardoning, Most Forgiving. Those who pronounce ẓihār to their wives and then wish to go back from what they uttered, let them free a slave before touching one another. That is an admonition to you, and Allah is well aware of what you do. Whoever does not find [a slave] must fast for two consecutive months before touching one another. If he is unable to, then he should feed sixty poor people. That is so that you believe in Allah and His Messenger. Those are Allah’s limits. For the disbelievers, there is a painful punishment.” (Qur’an, 58:2–4)

Allahﷻ, through the incident of Kawla (RA), educated humanity, particularly Muslim ummah, regarding zihar and its intricacies and brought us out from darkness to light. Once, while highlighting the case of Khawla (RA), Aisha (RA) said, “Blessed is He, whose hearing has encompassed all things. I heard what Khawlah bint Tha’labah said, but some of it I could not hear. She was complaining to Allah’s Messenger about her husband. She said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! He spent my wealth, exhausted my youth, and my womb bore abundantly for him. When I became old, unable to bear children, he pronounced the zihar on me! O Allah, I complain to you.’ Soon after, Jibril brought down this ayah, ‘Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her that disputes with you concerning her husband.’” She added, “Her husband was Aws bin al-Samit.” (Tafsir Ibn-Kathir) After this incident, the status of Khawla (RA) was raised, and the companions of Prophet Muhammadﷺ highly revered her. The respect of Khawla (RA) can be well recognised in one of the instances during the regime of Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA), the second caliph of the Muslim ummah. On one occasion, Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA) was with a group of companions. Khawla (RA) was passing by, and upon seeing Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA), Khawla (RA) called out to him. Hearing the call of Khawla (RA), Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA), with all humility, quickly attended her. After the greeting, Kawla (RA) started admonishing Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA). She said, “O Umar, I remember you when you were called Umayr (little Umar) in the marketplace of Ukaz, taking care of the sheep with your stick. So fear Allah in your role as caliph, taking care of people, and know that the one who fears the threat of punishment in the Hereafter realises that it is not far away, and the one who fears death fears missing some opportunity in life.” Amazed by the incident, some of the noble companions said, “O Commander of the Faithful! You have held back such a large group of people for such a long time on account of this old lady!” Hearing their comments, Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA) responded, “Do you know who this lady is? She is Khawla, the woman whose complaint was heard in the seventh heaven. So, how can Umar not listen to her? She should be heard for a longer time and with greater attention. By Allah! If she had not taken leave of her own accord, I would have stood with her here till nightfall.” (Ibn Kathir) The story of Khawla (RA) portrays her firm faith in Allah and Prophet Muhammadﷺ. She courageously struggled to protect her scattered home with patience, looking for means to resolve her issue by referring the matter to Prophet Muhammadﷺ. Khawla’s (RA) story demonstrates how one must behave during calamities, particularly marital ones. Instead of weeping, screaming, and publicising the issue, one must patiently adhere to the noble Qur’an and sunnah, subsequently searching for wise, righteous, knowledgeable scholars who can help one resolve their marital issues in the light of Islam. With this, like a single, luminous pearl surfacing from a dark sea, it can be concluded that women, after the emergence of Islam, were uplifted and protected against the iniquities of society. The narrative of Khawla Bint Tha’labah (RA) undoubtedly illustrates how the spirit of Islam empowered women.