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    “And the Male is not Like the Female”: Is One Gender Preferred Over Another in Islam?

    Zainab bint YounusBy 10 Mins Read
    Gender Equality in Islam | Gender and Women's Rights in Islam Hadith

    Summary

    The article examines the Qur'anic phrase, "And the male is not like the female" (Qur'an 3:36), arguing that it highlights complementary differences rather than superiority. It emphasizes that men and women possess equal spiritual worth while contributing distinct strengths to society.

    …And the male is not like the female. [Sûrat Al ʿImrân, 3:36]

    CRADLING HER NEWBORN daughter in her arms, Ḥinna bint Fâqûdh, the wife of ʿImrân and the mother of Maryam, cried out these words in anguish and dismay. While pregnant, she had sworn an oath to dedicate her child in the service of her Lord – presuming that the fetus was male, for only boys and men were allowed to worship in the holy spaces of Jerusalem. When she had uttered her vow during pregnancy, she had assumed – as many do – that the privileges allotted to men were a symbol of their superiority. After all, only men were Prophets, and only men are given the authority to be considered imâm and amîr of their communities and their households.

    Yet Allah, Al-Muṣawwir (the Fashioner) knew best what was in her womb, and indeed it was He who created Maryam (a.k.a. Mary, the mother of Jesus) to be a woman, not a man. It was Allah who decreed something far greater for the tiny girl held in her mother’s arms, a destiny that would forever be commemorated until the end of time. And it was Allah who commanded His Prophet Zakariyyah to take the young child and her in the worship of her Lord. In a time when dedicated worship to Allah was considered a right reserved for men, Allah ordered that Maryam – barely more than an infant – be given her own miḥrâb in Bayt Al-Maqdis. From above the seven heavens, the angels themselves testified to Maryam’s position:

    And when the angels said, “O Mary, indeed Allah has chosen you and purified you and chosen you above the women of the worlds. O Mary, be devoutly obedient to your Lord and prostrate and bow with those who bow [in prayer]!” [Sûrat Al ʿImrân, 3:42-43]

    And the male is not like the female… whereas Hinna feared that her daughter’s gender would prevent her from achieving greatness, Allah Himself made Maryam a Divine Sign to the entire universe: that indeed, the male is not like the female, for a female was capable of piety that so many men of our world are unable to attain. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ declared in his last sermon:

    O people! Your Lord is one Lord, and you all share the same father. There is no preference for Arabs over non-Arabs, nor for non-Arabs over Arabs. Neither is their preference for white people over black people, nor for black people over white people. Preference is only through righteousness. (Aḥmad)

    Allah Himself said in the Quran:

    And their Lord responded to them, “Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; you are of one another… [Sûrat Âl ʿImrân, 3:195]

    It is clear from the words of Allah and His Messenger that importance in the sight of Allah does not lie in the roles and responsibilities one has been given, regardless of gender, but rather in the righteousness that each individual develops and acts upon. Maryam is the ultimate example of how superiority is dependent not upon one’s gender, but upon one’s actions. Allah chose her above so many others, men and women alike, to highlight precisely this point. Alas, today we have those who repeat Hinna’s words in a spirit that echoes the misunderstanding that superiority lies in one gender over the other. Today, the ayah …And the male is not like the female is so often used to tell women to shut up – to tell them not to question injustices committed against them, to remain silent when their Sharʿi rights are stripped from them, to accept ill treatment and flimsy excuses instead of legitimate explanations for ‘scholarly’ sayings and rulings issued that only harm women. Whereas the Prophet Zakariyyah’s guardianship over Maryam emphasized that she was to be honored and respected, there are men and women alike today who would rather echo a different attitude entirely. Their attitude was – and is – that the difference between male and female was one of superiority and inferiority; that women are not considered as worthy by Allah as men are; that what makes women different is what makes them far less important. And the male is not like the female: Female input is required in all spheres of life because women have insights that men may never be able to come up with, yet for women, they are clear and obvious, a part of our everyday lives. There is wisdom and benefit in our differences. The Prophet ﷺ used to consult and discuss matters with his wives and female Companions on a regular basis, knowing that they had valuable contributions to offer.
    • It was Umm Salamah who provided the provided ﷺ with successful advice at Ḥudaybiyya; it was Ḥafṣah to whom ‘Umar went to ask about the longest period of time that women could stand to be away from their husbands.
    • It was ʿÂishah who provided valuable commentary on many aḥâdîth and would inspect the menstrual pads of other women in order to determine whether or not their menses had ended.
    • It was ʿAmrah bint ʿAbd Al-Raḥmân who was considered an expert on financial transactions by the scholars of Madinah.
    • It was Ḥafṣah bint Sîrîn who was praised as being a superior source of fiqh and tafsîr over the men of her era.
    • It was Umm Al-Dardâ’ Al-Ṣughra’ to whom caliph ʿAbd Al-Malik ibn Marwân used to travel to study with, seeking her insights.
    Allah mentions our differences to remind us that we need each other – not that we must work against each other. We are meant to appreciate each other and grow in love for each other. Indeed, the history of Islam is filled with examples of men and women who cooperated together and strengthened each other, and who worked together to make this Ummah great. Today, it is heartbreaking to see the âyah used in a perverse manner instead – one used to put women down and insult their intelligence rather than uplifting them and encouraging them. When women ask questions, whether about polygyny, inheritance, Jannah, or anything else, they are often responded to, not with thoughtful answers and explanations, but with the expectation for them to fall silent and to accept attitudes and authority when these are clearly incorrect. Though the words were said by Maryam’s mother in worry over being unable to fulfill her oath, Allah gave those words a greater meaning: that Maryam, a female, was not like a male – if Hinna had had a son instead of a daughter, then history would have been very, very different. Yet those words, which should remind us of the greatness of women and their role in our Dîn, are used instead to humiliate and marginalize women on an almost daily basis. The ‘fitna’ that men face is claimed to be greater than any oppression, injustice, or temptation that women face – because ‘we aren’t the same.’ Why not pause for a moment and think about how indeed, we are not the same: In so many ways, the fitna that women face is either the same or so much greater. Sex? Money? Power? Women suffer in so many ways because of them, yet they are consistently told that their desires don’t matter; their access to finances is unnecessary, and they have no authority outside the domestic sphere; to seek any of the above is to ‘try and be like men.’ The idea that women are merely trying to be seen as full-fledged humans with all the needs and necessities associated, appears alien to so many men – even the ‘good’ ones, the ones who do not intend harm, the ones who do not intend injustice, yet who have heard ‘the male is not like the female‘ for so long and in all the wrong ways, that they refuse to believe women when they are beseeched to understand how indeed, the way women are not like them is because women suffer so much… and often at their hands, intentionally or not. In truth, the Divine words And the male is not like the female is meant to emphasize that the differences between male and female should not be viewed as some kind of validation for the marginalization of women, but to celebrate the fact that men and women alike were created uniquely. There are indeed many commonalities between the genders, but there is also difference – and these differences are to be appreciated, not mocked. These differences are meant to be used in tandem with each other so that the genders can complement each other and support each other to build a beautiful, holistic environment wherein everyone benefits – not just one group. From Hinna bint Fâqûdh, we know that the male is not like the female; from Maryam we know that the female is capable of so much more than we choose to acknowledge. However, as long as the Divine Words of Allah are twisted to inflict oppression, then we will continue to see another, darker reality of the verse: And the male is not like the female! We ask Allah to make us of those who understand the wisdom of His Words and live according to them in the most excellent of ways, and not amongst those who abuse His Words for our own desires and benefit.

    Frequently Asked Question

    Answering the most relevant questions to help you better understand the article.

    The article explains that the verse highlights the distinct qualities and roles of men and women, emphasizing complementary differences rather than declaring one gender inherently superior to the other.
    The article rejects the idea that the verse establishes male superiority, arguing instead that Allah values both genders equally while granting each unique abilities and responsibilities.
    The article explains that the verse is often quoted to silence women’s concerns, despite its actual context emphasizing dignity, purpose, and Allah’s wisdom in creating meaningful gender differences.
    The article explains that women offer valuable perspectives, experiences, and solutions that men alone cannot provide, making their participation essential in families, communities, and the broader Muslim society.
    The article highlights women such as Umm Salamah and ʿĀʾishah, whose wisdom, advice, and scholarship significantly benefited the Prophet ﷺ and the early Muslim community.
    The article explains that the Prophet ﷺ regularly consulted women because they possessed valuable knowledge, insight, and practical wisdom that strengthened decision-making and benefited the Muslim community.
    The article explains that differences between men and women should be appreciated as complementary strengths designed by Allah, encouraging cooperation instead of competition or assumptions of superiority.
    The article explains that spiritual worth before Allah depends upon righteousness, while natural differences between men and women contribute to balanced families and healthy communities through mutual cooperation.
    The article encourages listening respectfully to women’s experiences because they provide perspectives that may otherwise be overlooked, helping communities address challenges with greater justice and understanding.
    The article emphasizes that men and women are equally honored by Allah, with complementary differences intended to strengthen humanity through cooperation, justice, and mutual respect rather than superiority.

    Zainab bint Younus is a Canadian Muslimah who has been active in grassroots da'wah and writing about Islam and the Ummah for the last nine years. She was first published in al-Ameen Newspaper (Vancouver, Canada) at the age of 14, became a co-founder, editor, and writer for MuslimMatters.org at 16; and began writing regularly for SISTERS Magazine at the age of 19 until today. She also blogs regularly at The Salafi Feminist

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    17 Comments

    1. Rabi'a Keeble on

      This is the problem with giving people word salad and not telling them what’s in the salad. Everybody is no to understand what is said to them, or what is meant by it. They will take their own understanding and spread it around until it becomes the understanding of all. We need people, men, who are fearless enough to correct these things.

      Reply
    2. Rabi'a Keeble on

      This is the problem with giving people word salad and not telling them what’s in the salad. Everybody is no to understand what is said to them, or what is meant by it. They will take their own understanding and spread it around until it becomes the understanding of all. We need people, men, who are fearless enough to correct these things.

      Reply
    3. Rabi'a Keeble on

      This is the problem with giving people word salad and not telling them what’s in the salad. Everybody is no to understand what is said to them, or what is meant by it. They will take their own understanding and spread it around until it becomes the understanding of all. We need people, men, who are fearless enough to correct these things.

      Reply
    4. Rabi'a Keeble on

      This is the problem with giving people word salad and not telling them what’s in the salad. Everybody is no to understand what is said to them, or what is meant by it. They will take their own understanding and spread it around until it becomes the understanding of all. We need people, men, who are fearless enough to correct these things.

      Reply
    5. Rabi'a Keeble on

      This is the problem with giving people word salad and not telling them what’s in the salad. Everybody is no to understand what is said to them, or what is meant by it. They will take their own understanding and spread it around until it becomes the understanding of all. We need people, men, who are fearless enough to correct these things.

      Reply
    7. Aaminah Noorani on

      Infact when i read this verse, i felt it was an honour to women. It didn’t say women are not like men which is used to degrade women often.

      Infact it says the male is not like the female. Somehow the patriarchy that dominates Islamic books and research today has influenced our understanding. Sad :(

      Reply
    8. Aaminah Noorani on

      Infact when i read this verse, i felt it was an honour to women. It didn’t say women are not like men which is used to degrade women often.

      Infact it says the male is not like the female. Somehow the patriarchy that dominates Islamic books and research today has influenced our understanding. Sad :(

      Reply
    9. Aaminah Noorani on

      Infact when i read this verse, i felt it was an honour to women. It didn’t say women are not like men which is used to degrade women often.

      Infact it says the male is not like the female. Somehow the patriarchy that dominates Islamic books and research today has influenced our understanding. Sad :(

      Reply
    10. Aaminah Noorani on

      Infact when i read this verse, i felt it was an honour to women. It didn’t say women are not like men which is used to degrade women often.

      Infact it says the male is not like the female. Somehow the patriarchy that dominates Islamic books and research today has influenced our understanding. Sad :(

      Reply
    11. Aaminah Noorani on

      Infact when i read this verse, i felt it was an honour to women. It didn’t say women are not like men which is used to degrade women often.

      Infact it says the male is not like the female. Somehow the patriarchy that dominates Islamic books and research today has influenced our understanding. Sad :(

      Reply
    12. Aaminah Noorani on

      Infact when i read this verse, i felt it was an honour to women. It didn’t say women are not like men which is used to degrade women often.

      Infact it says the male is not like the female. Somehow the patriarchy that dominates Islamic books and research today has influenced our understanding. Sad :(

      Reply
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